Dear My Sweet Bosley Girl,
Where do I even begin? It's been 1 whole year without you and I can't even fathom that sentence. It still feels like it was yesterday that we were snuggling on the couch together.
I had no idea the day we adopted you and your brother Diesel that my life and heart would be forever changed. You taught me more about life than any human I know. You taught me how to care for senior dogs, be more patient, be more empathetic, and to love unconditionally.
There's so many new things I have learned since you've been gone including about reactive dogs. You were a dog that didn't like strangers or other dogs (beside your brother) which sometimes made the world seem scary to you. I didn't realize at the time that your reactivity was out or fear, but I hope I made your world seem safer.
You being a reactive dog wasn't an inconvenience. If anything, it made me learn more about dog behavior and that old dogs can learn new tricks. My very basic and elementary "training" I did with you seemed to help and we always enjoyed our walks together, so that's what matters. I have learned since then that hiring a professional trainer is a good idea. LOL.
When the pandemic hit, I started working from home. I can't imagine not having that time with you. We were able to spend more time together, form a stronger bond, and have more fun. You were always by my side whether it was laying on my feet underneath my desk, or watching me on the toilet, or simply laying in silence on the couch but feeling like we were having our own conversation.
I miss EVERYTHING about you. I miss your goofy smile. I miss you rolling around outside in the grass. I miss how much you loved your dad. I miss how you used to give him pibble nibbles on his chin. I miss coming home and not seeing you get excited. I miss your stinky ass farts. I miss your snoring. I miss playing hide-and-seek with you (you were so good at it). I miss every moment we used to have together.
The day we said good-bye, you were able to enjoy my favorite dessert, a Hershey's chocolate bar. Your dad didn't think you'd like it but I knew you would, and I was right (of course) :). I then held you in my arms and felt you take your last breath. I didn't want to let you go. I don't even remember how I did. I don't even remember going home. The next several days and even weeks were a blur.
I remember feeling like I didn't want to get out of bed. How could I possibly go on without you? As I forced myself to get out of bed, I remember seeing everything around the house that reminded me that you were no longer with me. I eventually started volunteering again since being around dogs was the only thing that still brought me joy. I knew you would want me to continue helping dogs so that's what I did and continue to do.
Your dad and I adopted another senior pup named Bonnie in honor of your memory. She helped me with grieving losing you. Even though you and Bonnie are complete opposites, I still see similarities that remind me of you. I know with all my heart that YOU sent her to me and I am so grateful.
Every dog I help, it's all in memory of you. Everything I do for dogs is for you. Being your mom was the greatest gift I could've ever asked for. I hope you, Diesel, Champ, and Precious are enjoying endless treats, naps, and toys.
You will forever be my soul dog and I will forever love you. I loved you for your whole life and I'll miss you for the rest of mine.
Love,
Your Mom
Leave a comment